Good Cop(y), Bad Cop(y)
By Barry Harrison
It's true-- people don’t want to read much. All the more reason to
choose your words carefully. I’m convinced that great copy is
essential for a compelling customer experience. Here are two samples I
came across recently, that carried me from the sublime to the
ridiculous.
The first is a description of a “Chenille Throw” from a
Restoration Hardware catalog that’s so evocative I practically
salivate with desire. The second is an excerpt from a multi-page ad
promoting Phoenix as a tourist destination. It’s so pretentious
and silly it makes me laugh out loud every time I read it.
Go ahead, read for yourself. Then think about what kind of impression
the copy on your site makes.
The 5-lb Chenille Throw
"Chocolate truffles. Triple-cream brie. Ice cream cake. All areas
where more is, well more… where five extra pounds is a very good
thing, indeed. So it is with our chenille throws. Each is five pounds
of butter-soft, pudding-rich, rayon-cotton chenille, a guilt-free
indulgence, big enough to share."
Now that’s good copy! Combined with a lush, close-up photograph
of the throw draped oh so casually on a tan suede sofa, I don’t
know how anyone could resist!
Compare and contrast: [I’m not making this up].
"Destination Phoenix
Amazing what you can do here."
"Open your eyes the day you arrive and believe everything you see. Our
world is in constant flow and a stiff current of excitement and
discovery pull you along."
"Greater Phoenix is everything from shopping in world-class boutiques
to dining that’s equally up to task. It’s lodging that may
ease your body, but never relents on the imagination. And without a
doubt, there’s so many entertainment options, your agenda will
swell with the energy of a true cosmopolitan city- tempered by years
of individuality and originality."
So while a stiff current of excitement pulls you along, your agenda
will swell with energy. Yeah baby!
Destination Phoenix? I don’t think so.
I’d rather curl up on my sofa with a good catalog and wrap myself
in a 5-lb chocolate triple cream butter pudding guilt-free hunk of
chenille. Yum.
Tips to improve the copy on your site.
1. Read your copy out loud before you commit to putting it on your
site. Yes, every word.
2. If your writing skills aren’t "up to task," hire a
professional, or at least get somebody who can edit your text.
3. If it sounds like "BS" to you, it will sound like "BS" to your
readers.
4. Less is more, especially on the web.
About the AuthorBarry Harrison is the author of "REDiTIPS" eMarketing Newsletter and a partner in Resolve Digital,
Web Strategies for the Real World.
Engaging Web design
Effective Internet Marketing
Essential Content Management Tools
Visit his site at http://www.resolvedigital.com or
mailto:barry@resolvedigital.com
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